The fun of a job search, or why I hate Monster.com

Ever since I updated my resume on Monster, I've been inundated with calls and emails.

Unfortunately, as I mentioned earlier, they haven't been for anything i've wanted to do. Here are some examples:

1. The Clueless. These are the idiots who just don't get it. They're headhunters/recruiters who are merely looking for warm bodies to fill positions, and not good matches. Worse yet, they use robots to pull keywords out of resumes and send out mass emails. The worst transgressor of this was the idiot from two or three weeks ago. You remember her, the one who thought law and accounting was an unusual combination. Not only did she never send me contact info for the legal recruiter she supposedly knew, she called me earlier this week and left me a message. "Hi, this is J--- H---- from -----. We talked a couple of weeks ago, and I just wanted to catch up and tell you about some of the things I'm working on..."
   
   
2. The Hucksters. These are the mass emails, akin to work-at-home scams, which promise impossibly high commissions (you, too could earn up to $100K!) for merely processing their overseas transactions. You see, they had a guy who did this for them, but he can't anymore, so they're sending out a mass, blind email looking for someone who could help them clear these cash transactions through their personal bank account. You don't have to do anything, just make a wire transfer every now and then. Right.
   
   
3. The Insurance Salesmen. "We're interviewing in your area, and only for a limited time. Join us and make thousands in commissions in your first year. We're looking for enthusiastic individuals like you...."
   
   
4. The Mass Ad. These guys are like the Clueless. However, they're different, because they send you the actual position description, then say "If you meet the qualifications, please send your resume..." Too bad that if they'd read that resume, they'd realize that I either a) wasn't qualified, or b) was overqualified. Either way, I won't be contacting them.

To combat this, I've changed my resume a bit, and it seems to have worked. At least its eliminated recruiters who want to put me into staff accountant positions. Of course, I did get one email from a recruiter looking to fill a temporary position - at my old company. I passed.

Shot through the heart....

...and you're to blame...

Ok, so it wasn't the first song that Bon Jovi sang last night, it was the second. But it was immensely satisfying to hear.

About a month-and-a-half ago, my friend Cheri called me up and asked if I'd be interested in seeing the band. Sure, I'd said. And why not? Sure, Bon Jovi has a reputation of being a 'girls band,' but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy their music. Plus, there'd be tons of single women there. It could be fun.

So we planned the evening; Cheri would come in on the train, Cara & Rich would drive into Casa Greg. We'd head out to dinner, then to the concert. We chose, initially, a restaurant called Reza, which someone thought sounded good. I'd never been there, and was kind of excited to be going somewhere new. Until I realized that eating there would result in our venerable drivers having to pay twice for parking. Not a good idea in a city where parking is often advertised as "$5 for the first 12 minutes."

So we opted to go to a place called D'Agostino's instead. No problem, as it was only a short walk from the apartment, and we had nearly two hours to kill. Imagine our surprise, then, when we used the full two hours and then some. Not only did Cara's order get screwed up (she got stuffed shells instead of stuffed peppers), but the waitress appeared so infrequently at our table that we put her picture on milk cartons in order to get service. At one point a very frustrated Cara said that "we should tip the busboy instead of the waitress; he's come around more often, and at least I know what he looks like."

As we left, someone commented that we would not make it in time for the scheduled 7:30 start.
"Oh, who cares, " Cara retorted, "we'll only miss the opening act, and I don't even know who they are."

Made me think that being selected to be an opening act was definitely a double-edged sword; you get to travel with a well-known band, and get much-needed 'exposure', but what did it matter if no one saw you?

I realized that my thoughts were even more right when we walked in. Most of the people were milling about outside; inside, the seats were about half full. It wasn't until a local deejay came out onto stage and made a half-hearted plug for her station that people began to file into their seats.

But once the show got started, it was well worth the wait. Jon Bon Jovi is a man who has been making music since he was a teen; he's well beyond the point of needing to make money. He can do this because he enjoys it, and not have to worry about impressing critics. And the show showed that. The members of the band regularly mugged for the camera, and otherwise enjoyed interacting with each other and the crowd, who couldn't get enough. We spent most of the night like yo-yos bouncing up for hits like "Living On A Prayer" and "It's My Life" and sitting down for the ballads. One guy behind me complained, saing "I'm too old to keep doing this." And he was about my age. Sheesh.

So all in all, the evening was very enjoyable, and a lot of fun. At the end of the evening, I told Cara, "I've seen a lot of cleavage here tonight." And I did, not all of it good. Some of the women looked very...uh, how do I say this...bad, while others were wearing clothes that fit three sizes ago. And then there were the three moms who brought their pre-teen children, which left me wondering why they would subject them to music that I doubted they liked. Hasn't anyone heard of babysitters anymore? Sure enough, one couple's daughter sat in her seat, head in her hand, while the crowd sang along with "Living on a Prayer"."

Oh, and as far as the women went? Plenty of women, most of them married. The rest were with their boyfriends - or their kids. Oh, well. I hear John Mayer's coming soon.