Saturday, April 19, 2003


Had dinner last night with the parents. They expressed concern over my switching to full-time. Primarily, they're worried that I am biting off a big chunk - possibly more than I can chew. My Mom's biggest worry, of course, is whether I'll have enough to eat. My father's worried about the debt load. And me? Well, the list of things I'm not worried about is much shorter than the list of what I am worried about. I'm worried about taking a huge risk that might not pay off. I'm worried that, in my effort to give myself more time to dedicate to school, I'll find that I'm still stressed out over time. I'm worried about moving yet again - this time into the city. I'm worried about where the hell I'm going to store the motorcycle. I'm worried about having enough money. I'm worried about being able to find a part-time job. I worry about how much the COBRA insurance is going to cost. I worry about whether the school's health insurance will cover me in the summer next year, or if I have to sweat out an entire summer without insurance. The list goes on.

In the front of my mind, I tell myself there's no reward without risk. I tell myself that it will all work out, that I'll get a job, and be successful. I tell myself that I have my CPA and MBA to fall back on, that if worse comes to worse, I can go back to what I do now.

Despite my best efforts, this is going to be a long week.

I went to school today to pick up some materials for my paper. Donna was there, studying in the student lounge. At first I didn't notice her, she was so quiet. We talked for a bit, until I remembered that I'd only put fifty cents in the meter, good for half an hour, and that time had almost expired. Fortunately, no ticket. And Donna offered to help me find a place when I get back from Rome. I told Donna I was absolutely terrified of what I'd planned to do. She suggested I give notice on Monday, or first thing on Friday morning, but I want to do it privately, so I had planned on waiting until Friday afternoon. Let me tell you - Friday is going to be the most stressful day of my life so far. I told Donna that at this point, it would be much easier to get married. And despite the fact that I've never been close, I pretty much meant it. Of course, Donna would be a perfect wife, which is probably why her husband married her......

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