My birthday demands, uh, list

“So what do you want for your birthday?”

Ugh. THAT question again. The annual reminder that I’m getting older, and closer to retirement. Well, not that close.

Anyway, I hate that question, because the last thing I do is sit around and think of things that I want for my birthday. Oh, occasionally I drop hints, but often they get ignored. Or maybe my taste is just too expensive. I mean, is it too much to ask for a Ferrari for my birthday? After all, aren’t I special?

So this year, my mom asked “the question”, and I didn’t have an answer at the ready. Truth is, I’ve been off in mental la-la land and not paying attention to the calendar. That, of course, got a rude jolt last week. But overall, I really hadn’t gone through the mental list-making that I normally go through at this time of year, anticipating that inevitable question.

So, without further ado, (and two days beforehand) here’s my list:

1. A new blender. Mine sucks, and I like to make frozen drinks – like mudslides.
2. Movies:
1. The Blues Brothers
2. Dead Poets Society
3. Batman Returns
4. Lord of the Rings Trilogy
5. Any Harry Potter movie (sorry, but I like them, even if you don’t)
3. Music
1. Blue Merle
2. Stereophonics
3. Electronica – I have Future Lounge, so something along those lines
4. Dockers™, Haines, or similar pants – mine keep wearing out
5. Suits – at least one or two more, say a black and a neutral
6. Shirts – dress shirts, though friends who’ve seen my closets will ask “where will you put them?
7. A new car – a Ferrari would be nice, but not practical. How ‘bout a Saab 9-5?
8. A speaking role in Clint Eastwood’s movie – because all I’ve got now is a role as an extra, and since my grandfather served in WWII, it would be a nice tribute.
9. A nice Bible. I’m not overly religious, but mine is old, tattered, and from when I was in junior high. I should have a nicer one at this point in my life.
10. A hot girlfriend. Hey, it’s my list; make up your own if you don’t like it.
11. A nice, new residence. Preferably in San Diego. See #10.
12. A job.

So there it is. I doubt if I’ll get any of that in the next two days, but if you’d like to wish me a happy b-day, feel free. I’ll take what I can get.