Monday, March 17, 2003

How to date like Greg, or what to expect when you go out with me.....

A typical date:

1. Meet attractive cardiac nurse on
2. Exchange emails, have hours-long phone conversations.
3. Agree to meet for dinner on Saturday night at nice, Cajun-style seafood restaurant.
4. Get there to find 90-minute wait for a table.
5. Curse fact that restaurant doesn't accept reservations.
6. Give name and sidle up to the bar for a $5.50 Jack and Coke.
7. When date walks in, greet her and buy glass of wine.
8. Enjoy conversation.
9. Fruitlessly attempt to get seat at bar; have couple already seated at bar & eating take pity on you, hand you their number which is 20 lower than yours.
10. Hear number called within moments; total wait time 25 min. Feel confident about how things are going.
11. Enjoy dinner. Swallow hard and remember that topic of conversation is tipping when bill comes. Sign for $82 dinner.
12. Date suggests seeing movie. Feeling even better - she's enjoying evening, doesn't want to leave.
13. Drive to apt to drop off date's car.
14. Go to movie. Watch 'About Schmidt'. Enjoy, even if slow at points.
15. Leave theater. Hop in (fairly) new, low milage car.
16. Start car.
17. Begin backing out of parking space.
18. Look puzzled when car stalls 2/3 of way out of space, and won't restart.
19. Call OnStar. Act nonchalant when told tow truck will be there - in 90 minutes.
20. Realize even though apt is only 2 miles, too cold and too late to walk back.
21. Wait for tow truck. Explain to date this was not part of plan. Confidence level plummeting.
22. Tow truck arrives. Driver attempts to start car to no avail. Tow required. Beg for ride back to apt. Driver agrees.
23. Back at apartment, realize it's late and date has 1 hour drive home. Offer to let her spend night.

Ok, now you're her. What do you do?

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