HEATWAVE!!!!

For those of you not here in the Chicago area, we have been suffering through a tremendous mini-heatwave the last two days. Temperatures have risen all the way up to the mid-thirties here, and if The Weather Channel can be believed (and why would they lie?), the next few days will see tempertures shoot all the way up to 50!!!! I might be able to hop on the bike!!! Wow......

Now, of course, my LA friends will remind me that temperatures there have dipped down into the mid-80s and they're probably quite chilly, but I tell you, you haven't lived until you've decided to choke down the food in the company barfeteria because its to friggin' cold to walk the 20 feet to your car and drive somewhere. Now, I'm one of the lucky few around here. I donate an extra $100 a month for the privlege of having a garage. Not an attached garage. No, those are for the two bedrooms. Mine's only a one bedroom, so I have to walk 75 steps (yes, I counted; yes, I have no life) to the detached garages, where my Bravada (yes, it's an SUV, but I live in the arctic tundra dammit!) is safely ensconced away from snow, rain or (as predicted for tonight) sleet. Sure, I have to walk through that shit, but hey, at least I'm not standing in it, trying to chip my car out of a block of ice. So there. Besides, for the extortion, uh, rent I pay, I should be entitled to certain privileges.

AND NOW, TODAY'S GREEK MYTHOLOGY LESSON.....PAY ATTENTION, KYLE.....

Achilles was dipped in the River Styx (so, let's see if I get this right....it was a river first, then it was a band?). Helen was captured at Sparta (I thought he was the dude Kirk Douglas played?). Aeneas was the only survivor of the battle of Troy. One of the joys of having nephews is having them call and leave you a message asking you questions about Greek Mythology. Ok, I've been to Athens, and I do like Mythology, but I'm no expert. Thank heavens for my Edith Hamilton book Sure, she's been dead since 1963 (before even I was born), but that didn't stop her from helping out when needed...

So ask away nephew. With my trusty manual at my side, I'll be happy to answer. I could buy you your own copy for your b-day in May, but then the only people who'd leave messages are your Mom and mine. Come to think of it, that's all who do now. Hmm.

SCARY THOUGHT OF THE DAY

My oldest nephew turns 14 in two weeks.

CONGRATS TO:

My friend Russell Otte, on his new arrival, the soon-to-be-debonair Charles Otte. What the fuck, Chuck? LMAO....sorry, pal, I couldn't resist.

Hi Joe!

Well, I think I'll quit here and watch Blind Date. Sure, it's cheesy, but I'd rather watch crappy dates than have them. Much cheaper that way. And in a bizzare way, more satisfying.

Tonight's first couple is attempting to navigate some mound, most likely in CA. Last night, the second couple was from/in Chicago. I watched, wondering where they'd go, hoping against hope that they'd find some interesting spot. BUT NO! They stuck with the cheesy tourist spots that no self-respecting Chicagoan would take a first date to. Not if they wanted a second. So it wasn't any surprise when he dropped her off at Union Station. Suburbanite. I should have known. Ok, Ok, so I'm one, too. But at least I know my way around Chicago. I should. I spend plenty of time there...


Allright, enough commentary! Hit the damn hot tub already!!! Because we all know that's how you get laid on the first date, even if you're butt ugly!!!!

Have a good one, folks!